Math Time!

Ok let's go back to elementary school for some basic Math. Remember when you told the teacher that you just didn't understand why you would ever need Math when you got older? (well at least I did), well guess what? I was dumb and they were right! You use Math EVERYWHERE you go. When you are at In N Out and you have to decide whether to get two burgers or one because one doesn't really fill you up, well i mean i guess it does, but you think you kinda want more, but you know you shouldn't... well bingo! Let's use Math! Let's see here... if i eat one burger, it's probably about 600 calories. if i eat more than 2,000 calories a day i will gain 1 pound a week. if i keep my caloric intake to 1,250 calories or less, i will lose a pound a week. so if i eat two burgers, i can only eat 50 more calories for the rest of the day! Thank you Math! Because of you I can make the life choice of eating 1 In N Out burger to maintain my weight. Teachers you are so on it!

So I have been pondering my life a lot lately - specifically my career. Everyone knows how much I HATE my current job. To me it's just that - a job. Nothing more, nothing less. It pays the bills. It's simple. It's easy. It's doable. But is it fun? Is it my passion? Do I stay longer than I should? Do I wake up excited to go to work? Do I dread Mondays? We all know the answers. And here we are yet again at that crucial part of our 20s - the search for your career. Except I don't consider it just a search for your "Career" - i don't like that word. Instead I consider it a search for your soul. Your heart. Your happiness. Your chocolate soufle cake that you are allowed to have only once a week. Your best orgasm. Your natural alarm clock. Career just doesn't do it. It's so much more than that. The reason it's so hard too is because of the different variables that come into play. And here is where the Math comes in. By the process of elimination, we're going to find me my rainbow sherbet with hot fudge and rainbow sprinkles. But first, let's talk variables.

Let's not kid ourselves and play dumb. We all know the right thing to do. Self help books tell us what to do, our friends tell us what to do, our parents encourage us to do it.. shit, even your priest would tell you the same thing. Who cares about everyone and everything else? We know our damn selves that we want to be doing what makes us happy. Yes we know. But is it really that easy? What about the bills you have to pay? What about your rent? Your past? Your current situation? Person A studied Bio in college but realizes after graduating that she wants to open up her own flower shop. She just really likes flowers. Don't hate on her. But when she was young, she did a few screwed up, retarded things most people her age can probably admit to doing: she had a few one night stands where she THINKS they used a condom, she made out with two girls at the same time, she smoked weed AND drank AND drove and got a DUI, she dated an asshole, or several assholes, meanwhile charging all her expenses on her credit card... to the point that it is maxed out. Ok so now she's all gung ho about her flower shop. But she has an ok job at a Bio Engineering firm as an office assistant. It's helping her pay the bills, but she hates it and spends her days dreaming about putting a bouquet of pointsettias and lilacs together, and how it's such a unique combination that no one has EVER thought of! She knows she is going to start her shop one day, but she wants to take care of her bills first. She can't just up and leave without a master plan. So case in point, even if you know what you want to do, you have to come up with a plan. As great as it sounds to say, just do it! Just quit and move to Vancouver and open up your own flower shop, it's just not that simple. Lucky for flower girl, she knows she wants flowers. Sucks for me, I want this and that and that AND that!

So now we're at the main focus of this blog - using Math and the process of elimination to help me find my rainbow concoction. Here we go:

Ideas I Find VERY Appealing:

1. being in my own band
2. writing my own column
3. owning my own business
4. being my own boss
5. cosmetology school (but only sort of, as like a fuck it, why not kind of thing. I mean i figure, it only takes 10 months, i'm into makeup and hair so why not go pro right
6. going back to Storm Talent, my own business
7. freelancing
8. getting to set my own schedule
9. traveling
10. an unfixed, constantly changing schedule
    

So i think i see a pattern here. The key word is OWN.

What I Absolutely HATE:

1. working under someone else, especially when you don't even respect that person
2. doing a typical monday-friday, 8-5 job = to me this is HELL. i honestly don't understand how people do it. i feel like a robot. even worse, a slave.
3. waking up early
4. any office type job - get me out of a cubicle, an office, a desk please!!!!
5. doing the same thing everyday
6. staring at the computer the whole day
7. lame boring co-workers who have nothing exciting or interesting to say
8. having no time to do anything for myself because of my robotic schedule
9. feeling guilty for calling in sick

So by the process of elimination, office jobs are out of the question. Working for someone else is out of the question. It's so simple. I should have seen this before. I'm meant to work for myself. Doing what? I still don't know yet. I have many ideas and options, but nothing is calling just yet. But at least I'm not as lost. I now know that because of flower girl, i cannot just quit without a plan. I also learned from basic Math that I cannot work for anyone else but myself. So after a few more equations, a few more X's an Y's to fill in the blanks, I think I'm nearing that rainbow sweetness. No wait, rainbow sherbet is sour. Sour ice cream here I come!